Doubts

I find myself mired in doubt these days. Am I doing enough for my kids? Am I doing too much? Should I stand aside and let them educate themselves? Should I trust them more to handle their own intellectual development? Should I be more structured in my approach? Should we be studying Latin yet? Is yelling over a screaming baby a reasonable way to teach history? Should I give the screaming baby more personal attention? Would she scream less if I did? Do we do enough art? Enough reading? Enough math? Do we get enough exercise? Did I remember to feed the kids lunch? Am I interrupting someone’s FLOW? Do I get to have my own FLOW? Why isn’t homeschooling protecting us from all of the stuff I find annoying about kids?

Mostly it’s because I have at least two kids in difficult stages and I am trying to find my way to balancing everyone’s needs at the same time.

Yet, once in a while, I find something validating. And I cling to it like a security blanket.

Oldest D to middle G: “If you love it, you can marry it!”

I cringe. I guess that homeschooling doesn’t mean we get to avoid inane childhood jokes and teasing. I am considering an intervention to remind everyone about kindness to one another, when I hear the rest.

D: “Actually, if you hate it, you might have to marry it, too! You’ll be like Hermia and Demetrius.”

Okay, my six year-old knows a good bit of Shakespeare. And a little moment like this gives me the clarity that I need to focus on what we have achieved rather than what I might not have done.

Shakespeare Explained

“Mommy, can we get Shakespeare down off the shelf?” D asked.

“Not right now,” I replied. “We are about to go to the park.”

“What’s Shakespeare?” asked 4 year-old E, our friend who is joining us for a trip to the park. This is, of course, a typical reaction from most 4 year-olds.

“Shakespeare writes stories,” explains 3 year-old G.

“What kind of stories? Stories like Thomas?” asks E, referring to his favorite Thomas the Train character.

My kids pause. Who the hell is Thomas, they wonder. D tries again. “Do you know the one called A Midsummer Night’s Dream?”

Blank.

“How about The Tempest?” D continues.

It’s time for the parents to explain. “Shakespeare was a man who wrote a whole bunch of famous plays that actors perform on stage at the theater. He did it a long, long time ago.”

“He wrote poems, too, Mom. Don’t forget that.” D does not let anything slip by.

G then tells E the story of The Tempest, which we saw a few weeks ago at a local theater. I forget that not all 3 and 6 year-old who both have Shakespeare action figures and know his plays. “There is a ship and a storm and everyone falls out of the boat. Then there are is Ariel and the people on the island and the monster, only he didn’t look like a monster….”

I spent the better part of the week feeling inadequate because I wasn’t getting to all that I wanted to get to academically with the kids. So, the fact that my 3 year-old knows Shakespeare’s plays well enough to share some plot boosted my lagging spirits.