Furture Plans

Today G said, "Mommy, I already know what I will do when I am growed up. I am going to stay and live here with you forever."

I tried to savor what feels like a rare blissful show of unconditional affection.

At age 4, she is supposed to have a sunny disposition. Yet, she hasn't read the books that I have on child development, so she doesn't know this and thus her sunny disposition does not dominate her behavior. I wonder if I read them to her, if this would inspire her.

Honestly, I have found age 4 to be more work than I would have expected with her. She's super sensitive to physical things. Can't wear a coat in her car seat because she doesn't like how it feels. Won't abide by a drop of water on her clothes and thefore hates to wash her hands. She's a tremendously picky eater. I worry that she doesn't get enough food because she so infrequently is willing to eat what I cook, even if she loved it a week ago. She yells and screams her frustrations, despite my best efforts to get her to talk them out. She has trouble sleeping now more than she ever has before. She lays in bed thrashing around and claiming she cannot sleep, but the moment she stills herself, she falls asleep. I could make a long list of things that I find incredibly challenging.

Yet, I get these glimmers of absolute sweetness and it is remarkable at how quickly all of my weariness melts away. I know that someday I will be wishing she still wants to live with me forever. Hopefully I can maintain my patience until then!