Time Together

There are two typical reactions that I receive when people find out that we homeschool.

Reaction #1: Obvious, but not overt, disapproval. Pursed lips. Strange questions. Quizzing my kids as if to determine whether they are embiciles because they are not exposed to classrooms that seem more familiar to the disapprover.

Reaction #2: Generous, almost adoring, praise. Followed by, "I could never do that!" The implication quickly turns to, "I am so happy to send my kids off to school so that someone else can deal with them because they make me a little crazy!" People often go on to explain that they don't think they could have a harmonious home if they had to be teacher and parent.

Clearly I prefer the latter reaction to the former! But I do find reaction #2 to be sort of funny, and maybe not completely informed. It's not that I expect everyone to homeschool. I completely respect the fact that many people have no interest in what I do, and I can't blame them. Sometimes I wonder why I am doing it!

But the fact is that I am not doing anything too amazing when it comes to getting along with my kids. There is no magic anti-conflict formula that we use in our house to maintain the harmony. I don't have particularly docile kids - on the contrary! We have plenty of disagreements and discord. Yet, we are together most of every day. Day in and day out, we spend a tremendous amount of time together. We have classes and play opportunities and such, but we still have to come back and spend most of our time together.

Because we are together so much, we have a great deal of incentive to work things out. We must deal with our conflicts the same way that adults have to work out conflicts with close coworkers or spouses. We cannot live in misery, so we must find a way to get along. Necessity, is after all, the mother of invention.

This is actually one of the reasons I love homeschooling. It forces us to be the best people we can be to the people we love most. It brings us closer, and helps us to work on our problem solving and interpersonal skills in an intense way that school kids (and their parents!) rarely get to learn. The lessons I have learned from muddling through conflict with my kids could fill a graduate level management course on corporate conflict resolution.

When I finally get enough sleep, I bet I will actually be able to use these skills consistently and successfully. Wish me luck.